“Dodger Stadium for Dummies” – or Vice Versa

In July 2008, a yahoo contributor by the name of Nicole wrote a short piece on Dodger Stadium. It was essentially a “Dodger Stadium for Dummies” article – an informational piece about the Stadium for those that haven’t been there. Topics included: how to get there, what to eat, the best place to sit, things to buy, the best way in and out of the Stadium. It covered the do’s and don’ts about the Stadium experience. And then she broke out this:

“Do not bring a beach ball. If security finds it, they will not let you bring it in. If you do get it in the park, you better be darn careful about how you blow it up. My husband blew up a beach ball very quietly, hidden between a few people, but within just a minute of releasing it into the crowd, security came out of nowhere to escort him immediately out of the park. It really is not worth missing the game for a beach ball.”

Most people go to Dodger games because they are fans, others for social reasons, and a few to show how stupid they are. Photo courtesy of lockerroomblog.blogspot.com)

Most people come to Dodger Stadium because they are fans, others for the social environment, and then there are those who come to show how stupid they are.
(Photo courtesy of lockerroomblog.blogspot.com)

I have a few things to say. First, this woman’s husband is a complete moron. Second, kudos to Dodger Stadium security for escorting the clown out of the stadium. Third, obviously you and your husband weren’t watching the game, so how can you say that it’s not worth missing the game for a beach ball, since you weren’t watching it in the first place. Fourth, advising potential beach ball smugglers that you must be careful when blowing them up and releasing them into the crowd makes her complicit in suggesting the moronic activity to every idiot that ever contemplated such criminal activity. The article alone should earn her a lifetime banishment from Dodger Stadium.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I detest the beach ball tossing at the Stadium. I can’t figure it out. What is so entertaining about smacking a plastic inflatable ball around and making ushers look foolish when trying to retrieve them? What is so cool about interrupting the flow of a game because a beach ball has been knocked onto the playing field?

Dodger fans get type cast as being lazy, complacent, and unknowledgeable. The stereotypes we have heard a million times: “they arrive late and leave early,” “they don’t pay attention to the game,” “that can’t judge fly balls and they go crazy on routine pop-ups,” “etc., etc., etc. Who knows? Maybe we deserve the stereotype because I haven’t seen beach balls batted around in other cities. What the heck Dodger fans? Why engage in this childish activity?

A couple of typical Dodger Stadium beach ballers (note the alcohol). (Photo credit - livefromlosangeles.typepad.com)

A couple of typical Dodger Stadium beach ballers (note the alcohol).
(Photo credit – livefromlosangeles.typepad.com)

I’ll never understand what it is that compels grown men to dive over seats and topple over other fans for the opportunity to knock a beach ball around. It’s almost as if it is a crowning achievement of some of these so-called fans to interrupt the game by hitting the plastic ball on the field. Log on to youtube and enter “Dodger Stadium Beach Balls” in the query field. Up will pop no less than 15 videos of footage of fans hitting beach balls around. The amazing thing is that there are actually people that are entertained by watching these videos. You’d think it was in-game footage of a Matt Kemp walk off hit or something.

There are a million places to play with a beach ball. Like perhaps a swimming pool, or on a summer day in the front yard. Heck, I have a 7 month old grandson and believe it or not, we have tapped around a beach ball, and he finds it quite amusing. Hey, here’s an idea. Maybe you can take a beach ball to…. (drum roll)….THE BEACH! But to Dodger Stadium? I don’t understand the mentality. The thing is though, the Dodger organization just may be the ones at fault for this entire situation.

Even this young lady has enough sense to know where beach balls belong - AT THE BEACH. (Photo credit - beachballworld.com - seriously)

Even this young lady knows that beach balls belong AT THE BEACH!
(Photo credit – beachballworld.com)

I’m pretty sure that the beach ball smacking phenomenon was something that the Dodger organization started on its own. We can all probably blame Danny Goodman, the Dodger executive that invented Dodger memorabilia of virtually everything under the sun. The guy put a Dodger logo on just about any object you could think of and put it up for sale at ridiculously inflated prices. Dodger pens, note pads, watches, dolls, necklaces, toy trucks, underwear, mirrors, plates, posters, sun glass cases, refrigerator magnets, chairs, rings, wristbands, hats, all forms of apparel, cups, glasses, silverware, stickers, license plate frames, flags, and… you guessed it, BEACH BALLS. I know for a fact that there was a time that vendors walked up and down the aisles selling Dodger related stuff and one of those things was an inflatable beach ball.

Some fans actually go to Dodger games to watch the game and refuse to participate in silly little beach ball games. Photo credit - sonsofstevegarvey.com)

Some fans actually go to Dodger games to watch the game and refuse to participate in silly little beach ball games. (Photo credit – sonsofstevegarvey.com)

Here is my solution for STOPPING beach ball activity at the stadium. First offense – Death Penalty. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: “That’s a little harsh – banning a fan from the Stadium for life.” No, that’s not what I mean. I mean the DEATH PENALTY, as in firing squad, electric chair, hangman’s noose or lethal injection. Sure, I’m not completely heartless. I believe that they should show some sort of compassion and allow the fan the option to pick which form of capital punishment he’ll receive. Oh, and they should allow the person to be buried with his beach ball too. Yeah, I have compassion.

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3 Responses to ““Dodger Stadium for Dummies” – or Vice Versa”

  1. Bluenose Dodger says:

    The beach balls must have come after 1985 when we visited Dodger Stadium. At least I didn’t notice any at that time. We were in the section where Roger Owens was dispensing peanuts for a couple of games. I expect it was him as he never missed no matter how the throw was made.

    Dodger Stadium for Dummies – catchy title. A beach ball will always get batted around so a baseball stadium is never a good place for them. I can see how they would be very annoying to the earnest fan.

  2. KSparkuhl says:

    Death penalty!! I can’t stop laughing!

    Thank you for that, Evan!

  3. OldBrooklynFan says:

    I don’t blame you, Evan, for the way you feel. I really hate when a game has to be stopprd in a crucial situation, like when a closer or any pitcher has to stop and maybe get out of his rythm( especially a Dodger pitcher), just because a beachball got on the field.

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